5 march 2001, 1:50am
Something I neglected to mention on last week's update -- where you can
actually get all this twentysix.net merchendise... it's http://www.cafepress.com/twentysix/.
The comabound chick mentioned
that she will be following in my footsteps and opening up her own cafepress
store. By the way, i think the prices are set right now so that I make $1 profit
on each item. I'm not out to get rich off you guys... I have got plenty of other
plans for that.
Things That Bryan Misses (in no particular order)
1. My first car.
2. Grandma's house.
3. Horsey Rides from Daddy.
Yup.
1. My first car.
My first car was a 1984 Mazda RX-7. Small, light, rear wheel drive, and totally
tossable in the turns. The rev-happy 12A rotary engine happily ran up to 7,000
RPM (although it could easily actually do more than that) while making a beautiful,
yet edgy sound that just screamed for more revs. Man was this a fun car to drive.
Taking it on dirt roads and doing rally style drifts (and getting too sideways,
hitting an embankment and puncturing the radiator), hanging the tail end out
around every turn, driving around with nowhere in particular to go with the
windows down, blasing Sting's Ten Summoners Tales which was in a permanent
auto-reverse loop in the tape deck. I listened to it so many times I wore the
tape out. Now I own the CD, which supposedly, shouldn't be wearing out any time
soon. The fact that it was a two seater was also great, because it meant that
I never had to play taxi driver and drive people around when I didn't want to.
Just before I was supposed to go to college, it got hit by a pickup truck and
became undrivable. So it stayed in my parents back yard for about 6 months before
it got repaired. The car was never the same after that. Rust started taking
over, leaks everywhere, engine dying. But its memory lives on forever. It wasn't
the nicest looking, the nicest running, the most powerful, or most useful car
I've ever owned, but it still stands as the funnest to drive car I've ever owned.
2. Grandma's
House.
In the 1960's, my mother's mother and her family all moved out to LA and moved
into a very nice, big house. Throughout my childhood, my family moved around
every couple of years (although, always within the LA area), so I never really
had a true childhood home. But grandma never moved. She lived in the same house
the whole time, so in a sense, her house was my "childhood home",
since it really was the only constant thing during my childhood. Well, a few
years ago, she moved. All of her children were married and moved out. The house
was just too big and scary for her to live in by herself. The house was sold.
It was a very emotional time for all of us, because of the family history in
that house. In a way, it's where I grew up. That's where we always had our thanksgiving
dinners, and big christmas parties with hundreds of presents spread out, and
I got to tear open my presents as a young child and receive gifts like... the
Nintendo Entertainment System with the original Legend of Zelda that I got from
my uncle one year. And the agony of having to wait 30 minutes after eating lunch
to be able to go swimming in the middle of summer... watching the clock tick
off the seconds while even as a child I pondered... hey, in the next time zone
it's already 3pm... Ahhhh yes. I still frequently have dreams about the house.
I have dreams that I'm there, everyone in my family is there, and often times,
my very close friends are there as well. Just having a good time at a place
that just feels like home. One of my goals for my lifetime is to make
enough money to one day buy that house back. Not only for the bomb-ass pool,
huge balcony, aweseome kitchen, nice backyard and all that stuff, but just to
have that family history back. And damn, could I throw some swingin' parties
at that place!!
3. Horsey Rides
from Daddy.
Well, there's a lot more too it than just that. As fun as it was, this really
is just more about the simple joys of being a child And not having to worry
about anything. Incidentally, this photo on the right, I believe was taken at
my grandmother's house. All the good shit happened there. But alas, I have grown
up. Now I have to worry about taxes, credit histories, and retirement plans.
Careers, business opportunities, and responsibilities. And WOMEN. And the fact
that now, my father is physically incapable of supporting my weight on his back,
let alone my sister too! Yup, there's a lot of things that I can't do anymore.
Like ride my bike around all day with nowhere in particular to go. Of course,
I still like to drive my car around like that now, with nowhere in particular
to go, but I can't do it all day every day. In fact, I, like most children,
was totally oblivious to all the horrible things that were actually going on
around me. All I wanted to do was watch PBS all day. Which by the way, is part
of the reason why i can kick any of your asses at Jeopardy now. Then one day
i decided that I was too old or too cool to call my mother "mommy"
anymore... and I started to grow up. Damn.
Now what would prompt an update like this? I dunno. I had a beer and some depressing
music on, and then all the sudden, the next thing I knew, I was looking through
my old pictures. Weird.
7 march 2001, 1:45am
You know, I almost wrote "1999" just now. WTF!? My coworker got
a no-region code Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon DVD. He brought it in
to work and I ripped a bunch of screen shots from it, instead of working.
You look so cute when you're mad!
Yes, I have joined the masses of guys who think Zhang Zi Yi is totally hot.
She can kick my ass any day, and I'd welcome it! Woohoo! Anyway, I just ordered
myself a copy of that no-region code DVD. It has the original Mandarin audio,
as well as Cantonese and English dubs, as well as Chinese, English and Malay
subtitles! And if you are wondering where cool people like us can get such a
thing when there is no Crouching Tiger DVD available in the US, I will share
the big secret with you and tell you that it came from HKFlix.com.
So now you know. And knowing is half the battle.
More Things That Bryan misses (again, in no particular order):
1. Beavis and Butthead.
2. Local BBS's.
3. Knight Rider.
1. Beavis and
Butthead.
I don't know what to say about them, except that they defined something.
I don't want to say an era, or a generation, because they weren't really that
far-reaching. But they were definitely funny, and definitely opened the doors
for a lot of the television we see today. And the doors were opened for them
by The Simpsons, but they opened the doors for... well South Park for
one thing. But also, I think they opened the doors for Tom Green, Jackass, and
a lot of other shows, like Malcolm In The Middle, which are "irreverent"
or whatever, and push the limits of what is "acceptable" to be shown
on TV. Plus they were funny. Did I mention that? And really, even the people
who claimed to hate them at the time... most of those people never really sat
down and watched a whole episode of the show. And I can think of more than a
couple people who "hated" the show, but when my old roommate Kenny
and I forced them to sit down and really watch an episode... they ended up liking
it. I don't know why, but they're just likable. So there.
2. Local BBS's.
Most people who are just discovering the Internet don't know about local BBS's.
They are (but mostly, were), independently run systems where you would
dial your modem into, and you could do things like chat, post on message boards,
and play online games against each other. I've been meeting people online since
the early 90's... and during those early 90's, I met them primarly through local
BBS's. Particularly A Clockwork Orange and Ninja's BBS, where
quite a few people my age, living in my area hung out. Super late night chats,
fun times on message boards and all that. I met many good people through that,
and I'm pretty sure that even before I came to college, and before there was
widespread use of the Internet, I had probably met over 100 people online before
meeting them in person. What do I miss about them the most? Well the fact that
they were local. Unlike the Internet where you meet people that are 2000 miles
away from you, everyone you met on the BBS's were local. We would set up "meets"
and all get together and hang out and stuff. Have a barbecue. Go ice skating.
Or whatever. It was fun!
3. Knight Rider.
This show is a classic, yet I don't think anyone is running it right now. During
my earlier college years, USA network was carrying it-- but UCSD cable didn't
cary USA network. And when I moved into my first apartment, I didn't have cable
TV at all. When I moved to the last place I lived, then I had cable TV, but
by then, USA had already dropped Knight Rider. How could they do that? Oh well.
I also really miss Star Trek: The Next Generation, which also seems to
not be carried by anyone... at least, not around here.
Feeling
unamerican? Express it with this AllYourBase wallpaper I designed. Miss the
cold war? Well I got just the thing for you right here. The link might be wrong
though because I'm doing it from memory and the server is not up right now anyway.
But I'll fix the link eventually, don't worry. No, J. Edgar, I'm not a communist.
Hey what's up with that MSN ad? The one where some asian girl brings her boyfriend
home and her asian parents don't like him until he shows them his stock portfolio
on their computer through MSN, then when the parents see the kid has some money,
they are happy. Really happy. Yay. Asians are all money-grubbers who don't care
about anything but money. Thanks, Microsoft, for helping move our society forward
using the internet by doing your best to break down stereotypes... and making
a couple bucks on the side too.
9 march 2001, 2:16am
You know with me spending the better part of my day working on a computer,
constantly connected through instant messaging programs and email being automatically
checked every couple of minutes, I've sort of gotten away from the telephone.
But you know, i have gained a new respect for the power of the telephone. It
truly is a wonderful invention. Thank you, Mr. Bell!
There may soon be a secret, member's only section on this website. I won't
tell you what's going in it. And by "members" i don't mean that you
will have to pay. But not just anyone can be a member. Anyway. more details
about that as the details actually materialize.
The NEA and the RIAA put out a list of what they thought were the top
365 songs of the century. I actually ended up going on napster and picked
up 189 of those songs. I pretty much got everything between #1 and #200, except
for the listings for full albums. Also, some songs just couldn't be found, so
a handful of them got left out. Once I got to #200, I just started picking and
choosing songs from the rest of the list, ending up with 189 files, 665 megs.
Wow. In one day. Crazy. Lots of old songs in there. Lots of opportunities to
expand my horizons by listening to stuff I normally wouldn't listen to, and
yet, I know they must have some merit to them to be on the list.
And also, I think if I ever needed non-electronic (and non speed metal) music
for a video I was editing, with this collection, I probably wouldn't have to
worry about having the right song for the moment. I was also reminded of a lot
of great songs that I liked in the past, that I kinda forgot about, like Losing
My Religion by REM.
By the way, if you are of the legal profession, or you are from the RIAA, the
previous two paragraphs were completely fictious and any similarity between
those two paragraphs and actual events is strictly cooincidental.
All your base are belong to us.
10 march 2001, 3:00am
So. Today may be one of those ranty type things. We'll see what happens
as the writing of this update progresses. First of all, the roadrunner DNS servers
are down right now. I had to reconfigure my laptop to use UCSD's DNS instead.
Now it works. Woohoo.
So, Leanne and I set out to go to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. When we got
there, there was a line of about 30 people who were just waiting to be able
to put their name on the list... and I guess once you make it to the front of
that line, it was about a one hour and 45 minute wait. Hey, Cheesecake Factory
may be good, but it's not that good. I mean, I'd probably wait 1:45 for
Lawry's Prime Rib. Of course, they take reservations, so whatever. I guess people
just want to eat there because it's Cheesecake Factory. But is it really so
cool that you'd really want to wait nearly two hours just to sit down?
Well, not me. Anyway, we went across the way to the Crocodile Cafe (or something
like that)... the crocodile thing is weird cuz their menu says they serve California
style food (whatever that means)... and yet, their mascot is a crocodile...
there are no crocodiles in California that I know of, except in the zoos. But
the food was good there, and it was much better than waiting forever. Then we
came home and watched The Godfather... which she had never seen before.
How could you have never seen The Godfather before!? And now, I've been
informed that Jenny
has not seen it either!? Hmmm. If you are reading this right now and have not
yet seen that movie, you must go out and do it right now. Or else.
Finally, in the recap of my day part of this update... combining the recent
internet "All your base are belong to us" fad, with the slightly less
recent "amihotornot" fad... is.... www.amiallyourbaseornot.com!
Submit your own AYB pictures and people will rate how good they are! Geeky,
and yet cool at the same time! By the way, my soap one got rated like a 8...
and my El Rancho one got a 7.3 -- these scores are not graded on a curve like
amihotornot, they are true average scores... so my scores kick ass! Wooha!
Men are from Earth, Women are from Earth:
An article that I'm making up as I go along at almost 3am
By Bryan Hong
Why do men and women have such a hard time communicating? What has women confused
about figuring men out, and why are men so dumbfounded by "chick logic"?
There are so many reasons. So many things factors that add up to all the confusion
that has been making life difficult for millennia. Yeah. So anyway. Men and
women think differently. If you didn't know that by now, you'll probably never
find out. And that is what's at the root of it all. And now I will commence
blabbering on about that.
The Ex's New Significant Other
In my years of living with different girls, and having many more close female
friends than male friends, I've noticed a couple of things. And one is the way
in which people react to meeting their ex's new guy/girl. More specifically,
the way they compare themselves to that new person, and how it affects their
self esteem. I'll start with the girls. And keep in mind, I'm speaking in generalities
here. All generalities here. Ok. So when a women sees her ex-boyfriends around
with a new girl who is percieved to be of a lower quality than herself, the
woman thinks, "Hey, I'm the best he ever had. He'll never find anyone
as good as me!"
This is quite different from the way a guy would think. Most guys, after seeing
their ex with a new guy who is perceived to be of lesser quality than himself
would think, "Oh man, that guy is a dork. Which means she dates dorks...
which means... I must be a dork!". This is quite a different way
of looking at what is essentially, the same situation but with the genders reversed.
It shows just how fundamentally different the thought processes of men and women
are, even at the deepest and lowest emotional level.
I think that in general, women want to feel like the situation they are in
is special, and that they themselves are special. That they are different from
everyone else.
I also think that in general, men want to feel like they belong, and that they
care more about that than they really do about being "special".
I think that's one of the reasons why you don't hear about many guys who make
it their main goal in life to be famous. Reading magazines to see what the stars
are doing and how they live their lives. I don't think many guys really fantasize
about stuff like that. Being special, different, or famous isn't really as important
to a guy as it is for a girl.
I wonder if that might have something to do with men liking team sports? Because
it helps them feel like they fit in? Whereas women traditionally excell at the
more individual type sports... gymnastics... figure skating... I believe that
many of the long distance, endurance swimming records are held by women. I could
be way off, but hey, who knows. I'm just rambling, half asleep at 3am. So sue
me. Half the sentances in this article are probably going to say the wrong thing
anyway just because I left out a word or spelled something wrong and hell no
there's no spellcheck and I'm not proofreading this!
They're so complicated!
Why are women so complicated? I don't know. If anyone could figure that
out, they could probably make a lot of money or something. Women, and I'm pretty
sure most women would agree, are pretty complicated. But if they are so complex,
why do they have such a hard time figuring men out? It's because they have completely
different thought processes. Women and men are just on completely different
levels as far as the thought process goes. Some women would like to believe
that they are on a higher, or superior level. I don't believe that this is true.
Different levels -- but not necessarily superior or inferior levels.
But if women are on a superior level, then why would they have such a hard
time figuring men out? Because men are so (comparatively) simple that
girls either can't or won't believe that they are really as simple as they are.
They don't want to believe that everything a man wants can be summed up in these
five categories: sex, toys, food, sports and TV. But it's true. Just about everything
a man could possibly want to live for fits in one of those categories. But women
of the world want to believe that there just must be more to it than that. But
really, there rarely is.
So when a woman perceives that a guy is sending her signals about something,
she gets perplexed because she is trying to figure out what he is trying to
say. Trying to figure it out. But there is nothing to figure out. The guy is
thinking one of these things:
- I want sex.
- I don't want sex.
- I want food.
- I don't want food.
- I want toys.
- I don't want toys.
- I want TV.
- I don't want TV.
- I want sports.
- I don't want sports.
- I want mommy.
That's it. There may be something else more complicated in there, but I'd say
a good, oh, 95% of the time, it's one of those things. And if they want sex,
they just want sex. Easy as that.
A woman will watch a man and try to analyze every tiny thing for clues on what
he may be thinking. They are trying to figure him out. Trying to see what he
wants. Wake up ladies, there's nothing to analyze. Unlike women, guys do not
generally carry out complex schemes to get what they want. They usually try
to go the most direct route possible to acheive their goals. They rarly carry
any ulterior motives. I mean, besides trying to get one of the main 5 things
(sex, food, toys, tv and sports), there are no ulterior motives. What I mean,
is, they don't have... secondary ulterior motives.
I've mentioned this before, but I think in general, men and women cheat on
each other in different ways. I believe that most of the time, when a guy cheats
on a girl, he was just being stupid. He was some place he shouldn't have
been, got caught up in the moment, and bang, something bad happens. Or, he did
plan it out, and wanted to get something on the side, but the reason why he
did it was to just be able to get some, and he'd probably get it from the first
easy target he can find. Women, on the other hand, once they've decided to cheat
(and they almost always do, I'm sure), they go through a much more elaborate
selection process for exactly which guy they will chose.
I think that's because women are more likely to cheat for a reason...
that is to say, there are motives beyond just getting sex behind the act of
cheating. The secondary ulterior motive! It may be that they are trying to get
back at their boyfriend. Or they are trying to say something to him. Or teach
him a lesson. Or finding a convenient way to end things. And the selection process
for which particular guy they do it with is much more elaborate as well. Where
a guy would just be looking for the first available and attractive woman, women
are out there looking for the guy with whom they can do the most damage, or
get their point across the strongest. Secondary ulterior motives!
Most guys wouldn't want to deal with all that exterraneous thinking. They just
want sex. Yes women, that's all there is to it. I know you don't want to believe
that there is nothing deeper than that, but really, that's all there is.
Chick Logic
Women feel like men just have no idea what's going on. At the same time, men
are just completely blown away by chick logic. What's chick logic? Today on
the radio, I heard a guy complain because his wife just called to yell at him.
Today, he decided he wanted to take the nice car (which she usually drives,
although, technically, he owns all the cars) to work. But unbeknownst to him,
her keys and purse were in the car at the time and he drove away with them.
She called to yell at him for leaving her stranded.
Chick logic says that needed to happen to avert this situation was the guy
should have just asked his wife if it was OK to take the other car. Then she
could have said "oh yeah, but my keys and purse are in the car, let me
get them out first."
Guy logic would say that the keys and purse should have never been left in
the car in the first place. It would probably also say "why should I have
to ask permission to drive a car that I own?".
Chick logic says that if you leave your purse and keys in the car, you won't
lose them because you will know exactly where they are. And that "it is
my car because while you're at work, I'm buying groceries, taking the kids to
school, to day care... ballet practice..."
Guy logic would say that if you leave the keys in the car, you have much potential
for even more trouble, like locking the keys in the car... or some guy coming
into your garage to steal your lawnmower, only to discover that the keys are
in the car! Wooha!
Chick logic would say, "Well, the spare key is in the house... (there
is a spare key, right?)". It would also probably say that the guy should
be considerate enough to take her purse and keys out of the car before he leaves,
even though he didn't know they were in there, because he should know
that they were in there because he should know what his wife is thinking.
To a chick, chick logic is just the natural order of things. But to a guy...
guys have no way of understanding chick logic. To a guy, chick logic is completely
backwards, and makes absolutely no sense. This becomes the source of much conflict
between men and women, because the man is completely convinced that he is right,
and that his way is the simple, obvious, and reasonable way of thinking, while
her way of thinking is completely backwards, trite, ridiculous, and expects
the impossible.
At the same time, the woman is completely convinced that she is right, and
that her way is the simple, obvious, and reasonable way of thinking, and that
the man's way of thinking is completely backward, brutish, inconsiderate, and
completely missing the point. When both sides are completely convinced that
they are right and the other is not only wrong, but so obviously wrong...
well, hey that's when things get ugly. But it happens all the time.
In conclusion...
In conclusion, I'd like to say that "In conclusion" is about the
worst way you can start a conclusion. But in conclusion, I'd like to that I've
been completely talking out of my ass, speculating everything, and talking in
gross generalizations with virtually no concrete evidence. In other words, I
probably don't know any more than the next guy (or girl), and I'm just as lost
as everyone else. And that being the case, I'd like to say in conclusion, that
we are all gonna die and many more millennia will go buy with men and women
just not understanding each other.
The end.
I would like to thank Leanne, for providing some additional insight into
chick logic while discussing this stuff earlier today.
