Wednesday, 3 April 2002
11:59pm

A

s promised, I've been going on a DVD watching rampage. 8 reviews on my DVD Review in the last 7 days with plenty more to come. I've been watching some great movies, and I hope you are enjoying my reviews! And now on to more important things... like this exposé I'm about to write about the man in the Swank Condo, who has recently shut his journal down again, so I thought I'd take this opportunity to expose him for who he is. He said I was the closest thing to an online best bud that he's had... well I'm about to expose some stuff that only an online best bud would know...

Josh of Swank Condo fame makes many journal entries about his bachelor life and his (largely unsuccessful) forays into the world of romantic love. Tales of wild parties and trips to far off places grace the pages of his journal. But is he really the swingin' young bachelor in a swingin' bachelor pad that he makes himself out to be? I say no. Deep inside, Josh is a geek.

You'd never know it by reading his journal, and he'd never admit it, but Josh is capable of reciting multitudes of Star Trek: The Next Generation quotes and references. Yes, the same guy who disappeared to Hawaii for a week to find love also loves Captain Picard and his cohorts on the Enterprise-D. I believe his favorite episode is #137: "Chain of Command, Part II" -- the one where Picard gets captured by the Cardassians -- "There are four lights!!". Yup. A Star Trek nerd.

But hey, lots of people who aren't geeks like ST:TNG. But did you also know that Josh is hopelessly obsessed with his DSL connection and his bandwidth? At least once a day he goes to a bandwidth speed test site to check on his DSL connection's speed, and I'd swear that if there is so much as a 2% change in his connection speed, he freaks out and acts as if his connection has practically shut down. And why is he so concerned with his bandwidth?

Because Josh is addicted to playing Counterstrike. In fact, he's been trying to convert me over to the game for quite some time. He recently spent about $2000 on a new computer system -- one that would be really great for playing Counterstrike. But not only does he obsess over his connection speed and this game, he has actually bragged to me that people he has played Counterstrike with online have complemented him on how great his DSL connection's latency is. You see, it's not good enough for him to just tell me that his connection is fast -- he needs to tell me that other people think so too. Not just other people, but other geeks who he associates with. Josh gains a sense of pride when he beats these geeks at this game or impresses them with his incredible connection speed, but sadly, these geeks are probably 13 year old boys who got fat because all they do all day is sit in front of the computer and play Counterstrike.

But perhaps the saddest part of Josh's geekiness is the fact that he isn't even a true geek. He only wishes he was one. He lacks most of the skills needed to be a true geek. And though he would publicly berate geeks, he longs to actually be one. Perhaps if he would just come to terms with his desire to be a geek and join the rest of us in geekdom, instead of trying to fight it and trying to fulfil that swingin' bachelor persona he'd like us to believe he is... he could one day find true geeky happiness!

So the next time you read his writings, just remember...when you strip away the swank condo, the parties, the trips to exotic locations... what's left is a wannabe geek.

Saturday, 6 April 2002
12:45pm

T

his week I think I've learned that 8-movie-out Netflix service is too much even for me. I'm feeling inundated with movies. I've recently reviewed Lawrence of Arabia, Edward Scissorhands, A Bug's Life, Vertigo and Shakespeare in Love. Sitting here waiting to be watched are: Like Water for Chocolate, Empire Records, Strictly Ballroom, This is Spinal Tap, and Philadelphia. I think part of the reason the 8-movie setup is too much for me is that the turnaround time for Netflix seems to have improved by 1 or 2 days. More movies are arriving before I can finish watching the ones I had. Maybe next month I will downgrade to the 5 movie plan, or even back to the standard 3 movie plan.
I'm writing this as I'm waiting for my friend Zac to come down here. His wife is out of town this weekend so he and I will be hanging out this weekend. I don't know exactly what the plan is, but it'll probably be nerdy guy stuff that Karen (his wife) would make fun of us for doing.